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this is the second week of school. i can't get used to leaving this little girl yet. i cry on my way to work. i cry when i get home and see her. in between classes i have little aches in my heart that i don't expect. and oh gosh, please don't ask me what happens when my principle or fellow teachers ask about her. when i went to work out and put her in the infant care for the first time today i felt so guilty that i only lasted 30 minutes. i had to go scoop her up in my arms and hold her. i'm just glad she is still too little to say mommy or know that i'm leaving her to go make money. this is hard.

i pray that i will know how to still be a good mom to this beautiful girl in my care. she is more important than anything else.